


Something To Be Scared Of

by AnotherGallavichLove



Series: Halloween [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Fights, Fluff, Future Fic, Kissing, M/M, Making Up, Trick or Treating, halloween 2016, married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 14:18:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8331007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherGallavichLove/pseuds/AnotherGallavichLove
Summary: Despite them being married, and since long having forgiven each other for anything and everything that happened in their past, as halloween night approaches, Ian and Mickey have a fight that forces them to realize that the one fear that they had both believed Mickey had let go of - is still there. (Original Prompt: Ian and Mickey have been fighting and their marriage is going through some shit but they have to take yevgeny trick or treating as a family. They get in a fight about something or another you can decide. When they get home they do that typical parent thing where they go through yevgeny's candy bag checking for "poison" much to yevgeny's annoyance. Ian conveniently takes all of his snickers and gives them to Mickey later as an apology.)





	

“I cannot fucking believe you right now” Mickey cursed, walking straight into the empty, but well-lit apartment, several feet in front of his husband, who was rushing to keep up. Though Mickey’s legs were a lot shorter, anger pushed him to walk faster, half of him wanting to run far away, and the other half of him wanting to turn around and punch Ian right in his perfect fucking face.

 

It was as if his skin was quite literally throbbing - as if if he looked down, he would be able actually visibly see it - and he hadn’t been quite this angry in months - years, maybe. Hell, he couldn’t remember being this angry at all. Ever, though he probably had at some point. Most likely in relation to Ian as well, why the hell did he have such an effect on him? He could never casually impact how Mickey felt, somehow it was always a thousand times stronger than it should have to be, and it didn’t matter if it was a good feeling or a bad one.

 

“Babe, would you hold up?” Ian tried, half hoping that the petname would calm his husband down, while also knowing that it wouldn’t - it would have worked if it had been the other way around, and he had been angry at Mickey, but Mickey rarely accepted petnames, even if they were in bed, kissing and smiling.

 

Just as Ian had realized a second or two too late, Mickey spun around and narrowed his eyes - in fact, it almost scared Ian a little bit, how angry he looked. Not because he thought that he would ever hurt him or anything like that, but because when Mickey got this angry - which had only happened once or twice in the past, Ian knew that he had really - really - fucked up.

 

To be honest, he wasn’t sure what exactly he had done this time. They had just been at Starbucks to get some late night coffee before Svetlana would be over with Yevgeny, but all of a sudden, Mickey had just stood up and rushed out, forcing Ian to follow him all the way back to the apartment.

 

Really, their marriage had already been kind of on the rocks lately - not in a super serious way as in they were considering a divorce or anything like that - just rocky. Busy, and there had been a lot of fights. But none like this one.

 

“Don’t fucking call me that right now, Ian, alright?” Mickey’s voice wasn’t terribly loud anymore - well, loud, but he wasn’t screaming - it was steady, angry. It almost made a chill go down Ian’s spine - fuck, they were supposed to have a good night together, and be happy and all that shit. It was halloween for fucks sakes - a night a lot of members in their family more or less enjoyed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

 

Ian was silent, not quite knowing what to say next. Mickey had his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at the ground while he seemed to collect his thoughts, chest heaving up and down. Ian wasn’t all too sure whether he was starting to calm down, or if he was just getting ready to start yelling again.

 

He didn’t doubt that Mickey had a legitimate reason to be this angry - he obviously did - but Ian just wasn’t completely sure what that reason was, what he had done.

 

As the silence continued to settle over the kitchen, Ian wracked his brain. Went over the ten or fifteen minutes that they had been inside of that coffee shop. What the hell did he do? He and Mickey had walked in, he had dropped a kiss to his husband’s lips, just because for once lately, they had been happy and at peace in their relationship, and he had wanted to.

 

Then Mickey had sat down, and Ian had walked towards the counter to order, and then -

 

“Fuck” Ian sighed, shaking his head. “Are you angry about that guy I talked to? That was nothing, Mick” He looked up, their eyes meeting.

 

Mickey’s body had calmed down a little bit, but at those words, he could feel himself growing pissed the hell off once again - maybe once in a while he could overreact to things - rarely, but he supposed everybody did. However - he and Ian both knew that if Ian talked to another guy, while Mickey might have an eye on them, he would never be angry. A short conversation with someone else? He wasn’t that controlling or pathetic - and Ian knew damn fucking well that there had to be more to it as well.

 

“He threw himself at you and you didn’t do shit” Mickey stated - truthfully.

 

In some kind of a way, he supposed that he felt like a bitch. Like he shouldn’t be this worried about Ian doing something that he shouldn’t be doing. the problem was, however, that he couldn’t help it. The past couple of years, he had come to terms with the fact that feeling his feelings didn’t automatically have to mean that he was a bitch - though it was something he was still working through every once in a while.

 

“Look, it’s not like I was into him, Mickey. You know that - “

 

“You call laughing with him and leaning in when he grabbed your arm not being into him? Fuck you.” The last two words were somewhat more of a whisper, Mickey shrugging. He was tired of this - exhausted. From what he knew, Ian hadn’t cheated on him since that mess a few years ago, but those had been betrayals - big ones. And as much as Mickey constantly did his best to trust Ian - and he wanted to - sometimes he still worried. “Fuck you” Mickey sighed again, eyebrows raised.

 

Ian was silent, seemingly not sure of what to say; Mickey turned around, heading towards the exit of the kitchen, shaking his head from side to side as he tried to get himself to calm down.

 

“Do you really think I would cheat on you? Is that what you’re scared of?” Now Ian was the one getting angry, the one raising his voice. Yes, Ian had made mistakes in the past - big ones - and he was well aware of the fact that his and Mickey’s relationship wasn’t like it used to be. It was good, of course - they were married, they had their apartment, they loved each other - but there was still a piece of Mickey that didn’t trust Ian, and Ian knew this. He could feel it. And each time he could feel it, it broke his heart a little bit.

 

“Of course!” Mickey yelled, turning around again. At the two words, they both fell immediately quiet. That wasn’t fair - the brunet realized it as soon as the statement was out of his mouth. His insecurities didn’t mean that he could put shit on Ian, that he could remind him of the past just because he was angry. Ian hated himself for breaking Mickey’s heart just as much as Mickey hated him for it - and in a way, Mickey knew this.

 

He just… sometimes turned into this asshole. This jealous, possessive asshole - because… he didn’t know why. He was scared. This whole thing had gone very fast.

 

Only a little bit over two years ago, they had gotten back together after the whole prison, cheating, bipolar and whatever the fuck else they had been forced to deal with. And although Mickey had taken Ian back - after a while - and Ian had apologized over and over again, and promised him that it would never happen again… cheating was a big deal. Try as Mickey did to go back to trusting Ian the way that he once had, it was just difficult.

 

“I _have_ met you” Mickey wished he would have been able to hide the shake in his voice just as much as Ian wished he would have been able to hide the tears that were quickly collecting in his eyes.

 

For a minute, they were silent. Not screaming, not fighting. Just looking at each other. Then;

 

“Who’s ready to go trick or treating?” Mandy’s happy voice poured into the apartment as she walked straight in together with Svetlana and Yevgeny, the happy energy shattering the moment in between the husband’s, and they made a silent decision to continue this later.

 

  
***

 

As they were so close to November and December now - and thereby winter - the city was just about completely pitch black now, despite the fact that it wasn't all that late at all. Of course a few streetlights were on, and there were lit jack o’ lanterns on just about each and every porch - including the Milkovich ones.

 

Mickey had asked Yevgeny if he wanted to go trick or treating with his friends, but he had said that he just wanted to go with his family - for a moment, he had found it strange. What kid didn’t want to go trick or treating with their friends? But then again, Yev was still very young, and if this was what he wanted, then of course they would all go together - minus the costumes, because like hell Mickey was doing that. Especially since it didn’t seem to be a very important thing for his son, who was just wearing a white and red striped shirt and a knit hat in the same colors.

 

Not that a simple costume seemed to be a rare thing - some of the kids they all walked past wore expensive and extensive ones, but there were also those who just walked in regular clothes.

 

Mandy was mainly the one who walked with Yev, talking to him, asking about all of the candy he got and where he wanted to go next - honestly, she had always been the one who had been into halloween anyway. Well, Ian and Mickey liked the horror movies, and the candy corn, and Ian had always been obsessed with carving jack o’ lanterns, but as far as the whole trick or treating thing went - Mickey had never cared. Of course he made an effort with his son most years, and Ian would a lot of the time be close to as excited as Mandy, but not this year.

 

Try as they did to act causal, there was a quite obvious chill in between them. It had of course begun with the thing in the coffee shop, and the fight, but Mickey knew that his comments about their past had been unnecessary - he shouldn’t have said that it was obvious that Ian would cheat on him again, because it wasn’t. He knew that - he should know that.

 

Ian was an asshole sometimes, but Mickey’s insecurities weren’t his fault. Not completely.

 

About twenty minutes or so after they had left the apartment, they reached the fourth house, and Yevgeny walked up towards the well-lit porch to knock on the door. Mandy followed, of course - and for the first time tonight, Svetlana did as well. Maybe she noticed the chill in between Ian and Mickey, deciding to give them a couple of minutes of privacy.

 

It would be her style in a way - something Mickey appreciated.

 

“Mick…” Ian whispered, taking a step closer to him as soon as the other three were out of hearing range. Mickey swallowed, his tongue darting out to wet his lips - he wasn’t sure what to say, how to fix it. He wasn’t sure who should be apologizing, he wasn’t sure if either of them or neither of them had been right in that fight, it was kind of all a mess. Something that had been happening a lot lately. “Mick…” Ian tried again, wrapping an arm around his waist, pressing his nose to his temple.

 

Of course Mickey let him, he even leaned into it a little bit, relaxing in his husband’s hold. But that didn’t mean that he had forgive him, didn’t mean that his mind wasn’t still spinning a million miles a minute.

 

“I’m sorry” Ian sighed, his breath fanning Mickey’s temple. “I recognized him from a couple of years ago down at the club, I didn’t even think, we used to talk like that all the time” The bitter chuckle that fell from Mickey’s lips couldn’t possibly be stopped, and he felt the long arm loosen around him. “I wouldn’t cheat on you” Ian let go of Mickey completely, and their eyes met when the slightly shorter man turned his head to look at him. “I wouldn’t. You have to believe that”

 

Mickey swallowed, the couple thankfully being interrupted by the trick or treaters before he had to give his husband an answer neither of them wanted.

 

***

 

As soon as they all walked inside of the apartment about an hour or so later, Mickey bent down to kiss the top of his son’s head right before grabbing a beer from the kitchen, heading towards the couch. Ian looked after him for a minute, sighing before shaking it off. He would find a way to make it right, just not right this second.

 

“Let me look at that, Yev” Ian said, reaching for the orange jack o’ lantern bucket that had been filled up with more and more candy for every house they knocked on. The little blond boy shook his head, holding it away.

 

“No, it’s mine” He whined, to which his mother sighed, shaking her head as well, reaching for the thin black plastic handle.

 

“Yevgeny, let Ian look at it. There are bad people in this world, don’t want you hurt” It was true - every single year, you read stories about children’s mouths being cut open by razor blades, or other disgusting ass harmful shit like that being put into halloween candy. Like hell they were letting that stuff happen to Yevgeny.

 

After another second of complaining, Ian could grab onto the plastic bucket, and he stuck his hand down into it, looking around for something metallic, or beads, or anything else that could be used to hurt somebody. Thankfully, he found nothing, and he soon handed the bucket back - minus a few things.

 

***

 

By the time Ian had put Yevgeny to bed, and Mandy and Svetlana had left his and Mickey’s place to go back to their own apartments, maybe an hour or so more had passed, and Ian had had some extra time to think about all of this.

 

Maybe if it had just been tonight, then this would have been able to be called a minor right, a disagreement, or even Mickey overreacting. But this wasn’t just tonight - this was four years ago, and this was just about every single night in the past month - things had never really been easy for the two of them. And as much as Ian often liked to tell himself otherwise, he had been a cause for a lot of their problems - not all of them, and some wasn’t his fault despite him being the cause - but a lot were also just him just fucking shit up, being stupid.

 

So tonight… tonight wouldn’t be one of those night where they grunted at each other, and then rolled over and went to bed, trying to forget about the fight tomorrow morning. They had to fix this somehow - Ian had to fix this.

 

So as he stood in the doorway of Yevgeny’s room, the sleeping boy in his bed behind him, Ian looked out over the livingroom. The entire apartment was dark - damn near pitch black at this point, save for the blue, flickering light of the television that Mickey was currently paying attention to. And also the one, small lit jack o’ lantern that had taken its place in the window.

 

Ian could only see the back of his head, yet he crossed his arms, leaning his body and head against the doorway, staring. Taking in the small part of his husband he could see.

 

In the very, very beginning of their relationship, yeah - maybe Ian had been the one pushing, maybe Ian had been the ‘good guy’ and Mickey had been the ‘bad guy’ though, looking back, it hadn’t been that way at all. And as they had moved forwards, and as they had grown up, more and more, Ian had been the one pushing Mickey away, the one cheating, the one lying, the one ruining them.

 

No - of course all of it hadn’t been his fault, a lot of it had been this fucking bipolar asshole - but he couldn’t blame all of it on that, either. And it hurt so badly whenever he thought of how much time, and how much energy and how many years Mickey had spent on trying to get them to work, on becoming and being a good person - Ian hated himself for not appreciating him more. Even now.

 

Ian sighed quietly, looking down into his hand before walking softly into the livingroom, his bare feet hitting the hardwood floors silently, and Mickey wasn’t let onto the fact that he was even in the room until he was standing almost right in front of him, blocking about half of the television screen.

 

For a short moment, Mickey pretended. Pretended that he didn’t see him, but he did - of course he did. So then he reached for the remote, muting the television before looking up, green eyes meeting blue through the darkness of the room.

 

Ian let silence hang between them for a beat, left over anger, maybe. Then he swallowed, bending his knee and placing it onto the couch, climbing onto his husbands lap, immediately wrapping his arms around his neck, pressing his face into the crook of it, just breathing him in, letting that familiar scent fill his senses as he pressed himself close, burying his face as close and as deep against Mickey’s skin as he possibly could, lips resting open, pressing one or two kisses. But mostly, he just stayed there, clinging onto the man that he had loved since he was sixteen.

 

For a beat, Mickey was still. Waiting, figuring out what to do. But then Ian finally felt his arms wrap around his large body, tightly, holding him close as well, his forehead resting against his husband’s shoulder, both of them staying still like that, breathing each other in.

 

Mickey closed his eyes, sighing.

 

“I miss you” Ian’s muffled voice spoke into his neck, and he couldn’t help but hum in agreement - despite them sharing a bed, despite them even having sex in that bed just about every single night, they hadn’t been close in a long time. There had been a lot of fights lately - and maybe it was all starting to come to an end now. In the good way. Not the bad one that Ian had actually feared once or twice.

 

Ian pressed one deep, but sweet kiss to the skin of Mickey’s neck, and then he straightened up, their eyes connecting again. Maybe the air even felt somewhat lighter; the edges of Mickey’s mouth twitching upwards. Because honestly - how could he possibly stay angry when this giant fucking dork just climbed up onto his lap as if it was nothing? Not that he would want it any other way, he was reminded as he tugged him even a little bit closer, not in any kind of rush for him to move.

 

“I got you these from Yev’s bucket” Ian uncurled his fist in front of Mickey’s face, showing four mini snickers bars that he had stolen while he was checking for dangers. Mickey snorted at the sight, nodding and unwrapping one of his arms from around his husband’s waist to grab them, looking at the candy for a second before then putting them to the side, saving them for later.

 

“Thanks” He nodded. Then it was quiet for another beat; not awkward, just… quiet. That was until Ian wrapped his arms back around Mickey’s neck, pulling himself even closer - as if that was possible - their faces almost touching by the time their eyes connected once again.

 

“Look, Mick… back then, I - “

 

“You were sick, I know” Mickey interrupted, nodding. It was what Ian always seemed to remind him of, what he used to assure his husband that it would never happen again. He had done that shit because he had been sick, and he wasn’t anymore - well, of course he was, it would never go away, but he was as good as he could be at this point.

 

“Yeah” Ian agreed, his tongue darting out of his mouth to swipe across his bottom lip. “But I was also just fucking stupid” Mickey sighed audibly, seeming to let go of the last tiny bit of anger as he tilted his head a little bit more upwards, an invite for Ian both to kiss him, but also to show he was listening to what he was trying to explain to him. The long, freckly fingers moved through some of the dark strands, the green eyes flickering over his husband’s face before settling back onto the blue ones. “I get that it’s hard to trust me, and that maybe you won’t for a long time. But Mickey, I need you to believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you, and it always will be”

 

It was maybe the cheesiest, and the sappiest and the most romance novel-ish shit that Ian had ever told Mickey, but it didn’t bother either of them. Because right now, a sure statement like that was exactly what Mickey needed to hear.

 

“… Okay?” Ian asked, and Mickey was silent for a beat before then nodding.

 

“Okay” He agreed. “Now kiss me” Ian grinned at the words, Mickey’s mouth mirroring the expression for a split second before his lips were captured by his husband’s, his tongue shoving its way down into his throat, as if he was desperately trying to convey how sorry he was. How much Mickey didn’t have anything to worry about. How much he loved him.

 

Soon, all thoughts were thrown out the window while their clothes were being thrown onto the floor, their lips working against each other, noses pressed into each other’s cheeks. Their hands wandered all over each other’s bodies while Ian slowly pushed Mickey down to lay sideways onto the couch, laying down on top of him.

 

They vigorously made out, arms wrapped around, tugging the other closer as they got completely lost in each other, finally starting to head back towards what they used to be.


End file.
